A dramatic departure

A recent entry in Chie's journal:

You have been a Cuddle-To-Sleep baby since the day you were born. You'd snuggle in and wait for sleepiness to hit, and in those early months, it was often a long time coming. It took Herculean efforts to place you in your crib without jostling or otherwise disturbing you; if we did, the process of soothing you into sleep would begin again at the start. Sometimes you'd struggle and fuss, requiring vast amounts of fancy footwork to keep you calm. But even at those times, you did not want, under any circumstances, to be Put Down. We tried that, sometime in your third month, thinking that maybe-- just Maybe-- you would struggle your way straight into dreamland. We were dissuaded otherwise within minutes. Once you were out of the safe confines of our arms, you became very, very angry. It took a good half hour that night to calm you back down. So we resigned ourselves to getting you to sleep in the only way that we knew how. I don't even know how many hours I have spent rocking and bouncing to get you into a state of sleepy. It's been easier over the last few months. In fact, most nights you would just lay your head on my shoulder and within minutes, you were out. This continued up until about two weeks ago when, very suddenly, you Did Not Want to Cuddle. The first night that it happened, I was baffled. I laid you in your crib "to snuggie", as we call swaddling you, and then settled myself in the rocker for our nightly routine of rocking. You threw yourself back and struggled and fussed and finally, I laid you in your crib and said, "Ok, really, if you don't want me to hold you, I won't." You were asleep in five minutes.

I thought maybe it was a fluke. You have been known to have flukes, one exhibit of a new behavior that is never again repeated. But the next day, when you were ready for your nap, the same thing happened. And then it happened again that night. Daddy and I were completely incredulous. What had happened to our snuggler?

Maybe it's a product of this new phase that you're entering, of becoming A Toddler. Maybe you're just ready to spread your wings ever so slightly, or to have some time by yourself. I don't know. I do know that I am missing that time, those quiet moments at the end of your day when I'd hear your breath deepen as you neared a full sleep state. As I type this, you are mostly quiet in your crib; I hear a little exclamation every so often which is most likely part of a sleepy conversation with Spotty, your stuffed frog. I hope you sleep well, even without me to help you get there.